The Embarrassment Gene

I found myself in a situation where I needed to ask someone as favor. All I had to do was pick up the phone in the hopes of achieving something that I desired. Simple right? As I rehearsed how I wanted the conversation to go, I felt acutely embarrassed at the prospect of asking for help. I wrestled with myself because logically it was a simple enough task with the possibility of a big pay off. However embarrassment forced me to procrastinate. Not exactly sure why I was embarrassed when the worst the person could say to me was no. As I began to explore my feelings and the notion of embarrassment itself, it lead me to some interesting theories.
I consulted my dictionary for an official definition. Its definition was simple, to feel awkward or ashamed. Everyone at some point or another has endured the uncomfortable feeling of embarrassment. But what is its real purpose? For me embarrassment can be defined as a personal chastising for the perception (real or imagined) of others. Embarrassment therefore becomes self imposed emotional punishment.
Now in some cases you may in fact need to be punished. There are norms and laws in society that exist so we can co-exist. The perceptions in question here is the collective perception. Violating the collective perception can take us down a very dangerous road. In these cases where it is warranted , embarrassment can lead to regret, remorse, rectification and ultimately seeking forgiveness. Now if you follow this chain of logic one only needs to feel embarrassed for something that requires forgiveness or rectifying. Namely something that harms another or the common good. If you trip and fall..who would you need to apologize to? What do you need to make right other than yourself?
A strange concept that is much easier said than done. But it is one that I will attempt to practice. What I shall call unfounded embarrassment is a manifestation of what truly holds us back..FEAR! Why should I fail to try solely for the FEAR of looking stupid or feeling awkward? Why does asking for help feel so uncomfortable because we are fearful of the word no?
Pride is a hell of a thing and embarrassment is ingrained so deeply within us it's like a part of our DNA. But in the pursuit of our dreams embarrassment must be put in check. The road to success is lined with many noes, many help me ups and a lot of pride swallowing. When making a decision that gives you that uncomfortable feeling, ask yourself one question, "Is this something I'll need to apologize for in the future?" If the answer is no, I say go for it! Put yourself out there because where your dreams are concerned there is little to lose and everything to gain. So don't punish yourself for paving the way to your dreams. Once your actions do not ruin your integrity, what people think of you shouldn't matter.

If you read this, leave a comment and let me know what you think about my theory :-)

BTBM
~Natana~

Reclaiming Your Power from Deafeat!

"That is one of the tricks of opportunity. It has a sly habit of slipping in by the back door, and often it comes disguised in the form of misfortune or temporary defeat"-Napoleon Hill

Like most people I've allowed closed doors, misfortune and defeat to throw me off my game. Defeat for some reason has a finality attached to it, therefore most times we make defeat synonymous with giving up. Our habit of quitting in the face of temporary defeat is the reason for many of our failures. However, if your desire is strong and your determination steadfast, defeat is simply a signal that we need to reroute our plans and formulate a new mode of attack.
In the pursuit of our dreams we need to develop a new attitude. No doesn't neccessarily mean no. No can mean try something else, try harder, become better!! There is no successful person on this earth who was not faced with defeat at some time or the other. The recipe to their success was to learn the simplistic lessons in every defeat and therein turning defeat into a stepping stone. Don't let defeat claim your power but instead draw your power from it. Turn defeat into fuel and impossible becomes nothing!
Realistically, there are times when we may invest our energies in mistakes and bad decisions. However, do not simply give up. How can you be sure it is a mistake? How do you really know? My adivce would be to consult with experts and seek counsel before making the decision to give up on a dream. Your limitations (ie the ones you impose on yourself) are not always the proper measure limitations. Your limitations may just be mental blocks that you place in the way of your success. You have the power to make your dreams a reality...reclaim it!

Being the best me
~Natana~  

Starting today

I read something today. To sum it up briefly, it said that human nature makes us impatient in the pursuit of our dreams. This impatience is what breeds negative thoughts, inaction and inevitably a loss of focus. To counteract this we must keep busy and not allow our minds to be the home of idle thoughts.
For me that's the primary reason for this blog. It has been a tough couple of years for me and impatience to see my dreams realized has caused negativity to rear its ugly head. I need to surround myself with the light and positivity I have within me. Starting the day off with positive words, addressing and pursing my interests etc in this forum can do a lot for me. I've found that encouraging others sometimes is an encouragement in itself. And even if not a single person ever reads my blog, I'll find a renewed sense of purpose, passion and enthusiasm for that which I love.
So let today be the first day of the best me!!

BTBM ( Being the best me)- For anyone who wants to encourage and be encouraged
Light and Positivity
~Natana~